For our 29th episode, I have invited my friend Perry Janssen to our podcast. Perry lives in Seattle where she has been a psychotherapist for the past 30 years. Perry has taught at the university level, she’s had her own column, she’s been a radio host where she’s interviewed and learned from the likes of Dr. Christiane Northrup and Dr. Dan Siegel. She’s also been an educator, consultant and coach for Microsoft, Amazon, Nordstrom, Boeing; the list goes on and on.  

I had a list of questions prepared but since our most popular episodes have been about emotion and feelings, I decided to just go with it. I call Perry the feelings expert. You can tell how passionate she is on the subject. Perry talks about:

• The importance of learning about the difference between realization and integration and why you need both for happiness.
• What happens when you ignore your feelings
• Why feelings aren’t good or bad but more like breadcrumbs or little gold nuggets.
• How we can actually learn from our feelings.
• Why there is absolutely nothing wrong with you
• Why Perry’s clients call her the Tennessee Hound Dog
• What true mindfulness really is
• Why many women don’t even know how to feel their feelings?
• How minimizing certain feelings can lead to minimizing all feelings.
• The fact that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You just have never been taught the skills to deal with emotion.

You can find out more about Perry here, or listen to her podcast here. You may also reach out to Perry via email at [email protected].

Today Tracy talks to our youngest group member, Sophia Criscione. Tracy was so impressed with a post that Sophia created in our Facebook Group, ADHD for Smart A** Women about how to navigate the college admissions process when you have ADHD, that she just had to have Sophia on her podcast. 

Sophia is 18 and has just completed her senior year in high school. Having just gone through the whole process of applying to colleges she wanted to help other bright ADHD kids who are stressing about the whole college application process. Sophia was diagnosed at the end of her freshman year and shares with us how her diagnosis came about. 

She is a definite smart ass, so smart that among her many very high AP scores is a 5 in a history class that she taught herself. No matter how frustrating some of her symptoms might be Sophia will tell you why she views her ADHD as a biochemical gift.

Find out: 

• why Sophia wishes she would have started taking the SAT early in her junior year.
• the benefits of doing every single in-person interview that you can
• the pros and cons of disclosing your ADHD in your application
• how Sophia mentioned her ADHD traits without specifically disclosing her ADHD
• why and how you should use the additional information section on the common application. 
• what kinds of teacher recommendations were most helpful to Sophia’s admissions chances.
• how Sophia managed the application deadlines
• why you should apply to as many colleges as possible
• who should consider test optional schools

Sophia then shares advice on parenting teenagers with ADHD and her number one ADHD workaround.

In this episode of ADHD for Smart Ass Women, Tracy chats with Danielle Ford from Las Vegas. Danielle dropped out of high school as a junior at 17, on the advice of her high school counselor. She was actually a good student who had to work to support her family. 

She then spent a decade in various entrepreneurial ventures working 10 times harder than everyone else and in her words “never getting the basic stuff right.” She self-diagnosed herself with ADHD in her early twenties but chose not to seek a formal diagnosis because she believed the stigma. 

Instead, she read every self-help book, tried every system, worked with coaches but never thought that the strategies may have been faulty and not her. After a close call, Danielle decided to get treatment, was prescribed medication and other therapies and suddenly she could easily organize her thoughts, emotions tasks...everything. 

That’s when Danielle went into full ADHD superpower mode and submitted her name for school board trustee for the 5th largest school district in the United States. She beat out a field of 9 candidates, including some seasoned politicians and won the election. Danielle was sworn in this past Jan and now she controls a nearly 3 billion dollar yearly budget and makes policy decisions for a school district that serves 48 schools in the Clark County School District. In this role she is responsible for over 322,000 students. 

Danielle is 33, a single-mom of two kids and she’s a digital marketing strategist who helps other entrepreneurs grow their online businesses.

Her story is fascinating. How she manages her ADHD is instructive. You will also likely relate to how Danielle navigates life when her Ferrari brain works faster than her bicycle brakes (if you have ADHD you’ll know what we mean). It’s no surprise that Danielle is often compared to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

In this episode Tracy gives you her list of favorite strength-focused ADHD resources/books.

If you listened to her first podcast recorded back in October you‘ll notice that her understanding and opinions around ADHD have changed a lot. She is now solidly grounded in a more strength-focused view of ADHD and sees it as a brain difference rather than a brain disorder.

Tracy goes through the books she wishes she knew about when her son was first diagnosed five years ago. If you want to reframe your own ADHD, if you currently see it as a disorder and want to view it as a strength, this is exactly where you need to start. Tracy wouldn’t give up her own ADHD for anything. She believes that her ADHD traits are responsible for every success she’s ever had. She just had to learn how to manage it. These resources have really helped in that regard.

Find the book list here.

Today, Tracy talks about ADHD and Addiction. She doesn’t like to talk about things that she hasn’t experienced personally but so many members in her Facebook Group, ADHD for Smart A** Women did struggle with addiction so she decided that the subject warranted a podcast episode.

Have you ever wondered why those of us with ADHD have up to a 10 times higher likelihood of substance abuse and addiction?

Do you know what Reward Deficiency Syndrome is? Have you ever felt less satisfaction than you expected to feel once you reach a goal? Do you often feel like you’ve not accomplished enough?

Discover how our dopamine circuitry can create addictions and what’s behind the overlap that we often see between creativity, talent, depression, addiction and ADHD.

Learn why young adults use substances to self-medicate and at what age they typically start.

Discover the biggest myth about stimulant medication and addiction.

Exercise is the ADHD brain’s best friend. Learn why it also helps us refrain from self-medicating.

Tracy then shares information that she just learned about AA, recovery centers, medical detox programs, and sober living environments from a book called The Sober Truth by Harvard professor Lance Dodes who’s been treating people with addiction for 30 + years. It is really eye-opening.

Tracy also shares information that she just learned from psychotherapist Perry Janssen about trauma and addiction.

Learn about the concept called spontaneous remission and what kinds of approaches to treating addiction work best for those of us with ADHD.

Resources:

Center for Motivation and Change: https://motivationandchange.com

The Beyond Addiction Podcast with Dr. Josh King: Interview with Edward Hallowell https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shining-a-new-light-on-adhd-w-dr-ned-hallowell/id1443006588?i=1000437662558

http://hams.cc/neuroscience.pdf

https://www.amazon.com/Sober-Truth-Debunking-Programs-Industry/dp/0807035874/ref=sr_1_1?crid=DN97L8MJLDP8&keywords=the+sober+truth+debunking+the+bad+science+behind&qid=1560387110&s=gateway&sprefix=The+Sober+Truth%2Caps%2C204&sr=8-1

https://www.additudemag.com/the-truth-about-adhd-and-addiction/

In this podcast, Tracy decided to do something different. When she was initially diagnosed she read everything to gleen what other women like her were experiencing. Putting that puzzle together for herself was her number one mission. It’s also why she started the Facebook Group, ADHD for Smart A** Women. So today she’s sharing with you how members answered the question:

What Does Your ADHD Feel Like?

• L. Newlin started us off with “I cannot truly fit in with others. Why are there things that are mindless for others like paying bills and house cleaning such a struggle for me?”
• C. Newton said she struggles with “expected” tasks of a woman, wife and mom but on the flip side, she does things effortlessly that her peers could not even dream about doing. So she battles with (shame) because she doesn’t do what’s expected and on the other hand (pride) when she’s acting within her strengths.
• C. Seeley described her mind as a pinball machine or as if she has too many live voices in her head. She feels too much, knows too much (this is her intuition) which depending on the situation can be helpful or hurtful. She always feels on the perimeter even when she’s accepted. She feel different (and doesn’t see this as necessarily bad), a bit like an alien.
• C. Newton offered that “ignoring the rules feel necessary because she knows what she needs to do or say, so she will challenge limits and force past boundaries, because she “has to be meeeeee!” Rules are just rules. Sometimes breaking them is its own adventure. 😁
• D. Baartmansike often felt like she was living in fog, and the fog is stuff (to do's - chores, friends, family, life), like there is no chronological order, everything is in your face all the time and she doesn’t know where to start.
• B. Buster likened her ADHD to a jet plane engine that’s always running in my head. 25 to do lists, working on them all and not getting anything done one day and doing 400 tasks the next.
• A. Woodley feels like she’s in constant battle with her ADHD. Battle to do what is expected and often necessary in ways foreign and confusing to me every single time. She’s always trying to fit into a society that is clearly not made for people like her. She’s often amazed that people can’t think or act like her, while simultaneously being frustrated why she can’t think and act like them.
• S. Haddock lives her life based on gut feelings or emotions (both mine and others). Outside people see it as impulsive but there are really in-depth reasons for why she does what she does. On bad days she feels like an MC Escher print - where she’s running up and down stairs all day but the direction keeps changing and she doesn’t get anywhere.
• Sarah Haas feels like she’s at church as a six-year-old... sitting in the pew, and wiggling around, She’s thinking of the donuts she’ll get afterwards, Fiddling with her hands, maybe hitting your brother (to get a reaction, or maybe just because you need to put your energy somewhere), or doodling on something you shouldn’t ... trying to entertain yourself because whatever is happening around you is super boring, or you don’t understand it but you know it’s not the right time to ask questions... But then you just have to ask it anyway. And then you get shhhhhhhhh’d. But you have to put it somewhere, it’s too quiet, still, it’s too rigid. And instead of your parents bringing you a coloring book so you can put it somewhere proper, they give you a sideways glance. So you try and you try, then for whatever reason, you start maybe singing to yourself, or talking ... you know you shouldn’t but you. just. can’t. not. Do. It. Except you’re an adult.
• C. Seeley offered that she wouldn’t change her situation. She’d still rather have her ADHD brain because she knows that she has a gift for seeing what others cannot and her world is a kaleidoscope because of that.❤️
• L. Peters says she sees everything through the eyes of a child. “I see beauty where others see ugly! This is the gift! The curse... I see answers where no one sees a question. I see solutions for problems others do not yet know exist!
• R. Jackson can’t ever remember the important stuff but she notices every detail. “I feel much younger than I am and credit that to my ADHD. I dont worry too much and put most everything off until tomorrow!”
• S. Sunderland notices a superwoman awareness of the whole snowstorm, rather than just one individual snowflake. Deep understanding of concepts, but not retaining all the names, dates, etc. Her quest for deep learning is never-ending.
• C. Li feels” like the marvel superhero, Cyclops. “When I have my special goggles on (meds) I can control the tremendous crazy power inside my head, otherwise it is hard to control and sometimes destructive.”
• T. Kelly suggested that you imagine you’re cooking on a 10-burner stove, with different pots and pans all cooking different things all at the same time. That’s her brain. All of the time.
• J. Bold: My ADHD feels like a superpower most days. I am a BIG PICTURE person and tend to be very very intuitive to others. I’m extremely disciplined in most areas of my life (not food). Intuitive, creative and anxious
• L. Biegert constantly wonders how she can objectively be this smart and yet struggle so hard to do the things that most people find easy. “I can't possibly be lazy because I'm working all the time, but nothing ever gets done.”

In this episode, Tracy talks about rumination, what it is and why those of us with ADHD are more partial to engage in it. Discover how hyperfocusing is related to rumination.

Tracy talks about hyperactivity, not only in our bodies but also in our minds. She also shares how rumination is related to past problems rather than current or future problems. Learn how rumination:

• Is related to transitions
• Often increases your levels of cortisol
• Cuts you off from friends and family
• Is linked to overeating, alcoholism, depression, anxiety, insomnia, high blood pressure etc etc.

• Can actually make you become more negative
• Can make you more self-centered
• Might be something you do and don’t even know that you’re doing it

Learn how you can stop ruminating and teach yourself how to notice your thoughts. Know the difference between past and future thoughts.

Tracy then shares

• the antidote to rumination
• why she believes that there is no such thing as failure
• how important it is to listen to your intuition instead of statistics, numbers and figures
• the importance of BMW time
• that whatever you focus on just gets bigger
• how to make distractibility your friend
• how to manage your emotions by taking action around your passions
• how to create internal motivation and increase your own dopamine
• the importance of focusing on others when you’re trying to control rumination

Today, Tracy talks to procrastination coach Dr. Christine Li. Dr. Li is a licensed clinical psychologist with practices in NYC and Westchester NY who has conducted procrastination workshops and trainings at Columbia, NY-Presbyterian Medical School, Fordham University, Barnard College etc.

She is the first guest we have interviewed on our podcast. Tracy met Dr. Li at a conference and just knew she had to have her on as a guest.

• Dr. Li shares how she founded this specialty in procrastination.
• She explains the reasons why we procrastinate generally but also talks with Tracy about why those of us with ADHD tend to procrastinate more than those without ADHD.
• Discover what procrastination is often protecting us from.
• Learn how to get out of that debilitating feeling of overwhelm.
• Dr. Li talks about how to stop the guilt after procrastination has taken over.
• Learn what emotions are most closely associated with the act of procrastination and how identifying them can help you move forward.
• Dr. Li teaches us why we often start procrastinating when we’re 60-80% done with a task.
• Learn Dr. Li’s Solution for Procrastination Recovery to increase your productivity. She calls it SMACK.
• Discover the number one thing that Tracy procrastinates on and Dr. Li’s solution.
• Learn where we learned directly and indirectly to associate stress with productivity.
• Dr. Li shares how important positive emotion is to procrastination recovery and gives us tips to feeling better. I love her quote: “We do well when we feel well.”
• Discover what you can do that will always calm your fears. Hint: Nike agrees with Dr. Li.

You may find more information about Dr. Christine Li at procrastinationcoach.com. You may also get her 12 FREE resources on becoming procrastination free by texting FREELIBRARY (must be in all caps) to 44222. These resources are really amazing and include:

• The Jumpstart
• The Emergent Task Planner
• Good Morning Guide
• Weekly Routine Planner
• Brain Dump Template
• Time Saver Secrets
• The Road Map
• The Mantra Maker
• Check Your Lists
• The Trello App
• The 90-Day Planner
• The Habit Tracker

In this episode Tracy talks about ADHD and weight. When people think of the stereotypical ADHD person they often think of an energetic, constantly moving, constantly talking, climbing the walls kind of boy. They’re hyperactive so that doesn’t square with someone who struggles with their weight. Studies however, show that ADHD symptoms may trigger serious weight problems especially for those with the inattentive type of ADHD.

Research shows that those that struggle with obesity are 5-10 times more likely to have ADHD.

Learn what significant implications this has for girls and eating disorders and why early studies on adolescents and ADHD didn’t pick this up.

Tracy cites two studies on girls with ADHD. Discover why girls have a much higher likelihood of developing eating disorders and what type of ADHD is most predictive of an eating disorder in girls.

Learn why our brain chemistry is attracted to sugar and carbohydrates.

Discover what Reward Deficiency Syndrome (RDS) is and how it affects our motivation and our sense of satisfaction when we work towards a goal. Learn also how this affects the satisfaction that we get from food.

Tracy talks about the link between RDS and addiction and how addictive behaviors around food and other substances begin.

Tracy also goes into why food is different than other substances like alcohol, cigarettes and drugs and how many decisions an individual must make every day when trying to maintain their weight as compared to the number of decisions that are made when one decides to stop drinking, smoking or using drugs.

Learn how self-regulation plays into all of this and why those of us with ADHD are predisposed towards addiction but addiction is in no way a given. In fact, most people with ADHD do not struggle with addiction at all.

Tracy then explains the link between disordered eating, ADHD and executive function deficits. She covers:

• Struggles with planning
• Forgetting to eat
• Impulsiveness in food choices
• How bad sleep habits lead to poor eating habits
• Poor interoceptive awareness
• Procrastineating

She shares ideas around getting control over our eating that include:

• How medication can make a big difference for some women with ADHD
• Making sure your goals are very clear and then keeping them front and center
• How planning meals using meal kit services like Blue Apron, Purple Carrot, Sun Basket and Hello Fresh can really help if you like to cook but hate to plan and shop.

• Using an Apple Watch as a reminder
• Using a fasting app such as the Zero app to stop night snacking
• Exercise, read John Ratey’s book Spark.
• Using the Noom app to remind me of my weightloss goal

Resources:

https://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Girls-ADHD-Updated-Revised/dp/0971460973/ref=sr_1_1?crid=X42SRFF7G5M5&keywords=understanding+girls+with+adhd+by+kathleen+nadeau&qid=1556928851&s=gateway&sprefix=understanding+girls+with+%2Caps%2C192&sr=8-1

https://www.blueapron.com/

https://www.hellofresh.com/

https://www.purplecarrot.com/

Zero fasting app: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/zero-fasting-tracker/id1168348542?mt=8

My favorite ADHD purchase:

https://www.apple.com/shop/buy-watch/apple-watch/space-gray-aluminum-black-sport-band?preSelect=false&product=MU662LL/A&step=detail#

John Ratey’s book Spark: https://www.amazon.com/Spark-Revolutionary-Science-Exercise-Brain/dp/0316113514/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=john+ratey+spark&qid=1558492514&s=gateway&sr=8-1

Noom weightloss app: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/noom/id634598719?mt=8

In this episode, Tracy shares a quick method for discovering your character strengths.

Learn why it’s so important for those with an ADHD brain to focus on what we’re interested in and how we can internally motivate ourselves.

Tracy talks about the VIA Character Strengths Test and how it can help us determine if we’re moving in the right direction in our careers and life. This test:

• Looks for the personality traits that represent the essence of who you are
• Shows you what drive you, gives you energy and keeps you in integrity
• Focuses on 24 character strengths

Discover the difference between values and character strengths and the benefits of being in positive emotion. Learn also how positive emotion and our strengths are related.

Tracy introduces Dr. Martin Seligman and shares how the VIA Character Strengths Test came into being and how she initially thought it was just another personality test. Several years later she was reintroduced to it through ADDCA.

In creating the Via Character Strengths Test, Seligman and his associates looked at:

• All the world religions
• Virtue catalogues by Plato, Aristotle, Confucious, William Bennet, Benjamin Franklin etc.
• The work of psychologists including Thorndike, Erickson, Cawley, Gardner etc.

Learn the six themes or virtues and 24 character strengths that make humans their best and how the VIA Character Strengths Test can be so helpful in understanding who you are, what you should do next and/or why what you’re currently doing is not working.

Tracy then shares what Signature Strengths are and why they’re so important to our well-being and energy. She also talks about her Signature Strengths and gives examples of why it’s so hard for her to get things done when she’s not employing them.

Finally she covers common Phasic Strengths for the ADHD brain, what they are and how we can use them successfully during times of challenge or crisis.

Here is the link for the FREE VIA Character Strengths test.

• Contact Tracy:

[email protected]

In this podcast, Tracy talks about ADHD and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria or RSD. Because Tracy doesn’t struggle with RSD she wasn’t that interested in learning about it but once she realized it was the number one requested topic among the women in her Facebook group, she started doing her research.

Discover why emotion is not mentioned in the DSM, despite the fact that all experts believe that it is an integral part of ADHD.

What do so many of us with ADHD complain about?

• Short temper
• Impulsivity
• Low frustration tolerance
• Overwhelmed by emotions
• Overwhelmed by the pain or energy of others
• Others with ADHD may be unaware of others feelings and may seem to be insensitive
• Excitability

Tracy clarifies that if emotion isn’t mentioned, that means that RSD is also not recognized in the DSM.

Learn about the 3 types of mood challenges in ADHD. Discover which one of them is associated exclusively with ADHD.

Tracy shares why it’s so difficult for so many women with ADHD to grow up with a positive self-concept and the one thing that is instrumental in success for ADHD women.  

Learn the symptoms of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and how it got its name. Discover how it looks different depending on whether or not those who experience it internalize or externalize the emotional response.

Tracy shares how members in her group describe what RSD feels like and how prevalent it seemed to be among the ADHD women in her group.

Discover how RSD can often be misdiagnosed as social phobia, bi-polar disorder and/or depression but how it is different.

Tracy talks about how Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria can affect people’s lives and relationships. She also shares a potentially positive side to RSD.  

Learn what might help to lesson symptoms of RSD both in the way of medication and psychotherapy.

Once Tracy read about the drive to suceed and achieve, it was easy to wonder if perhaps she had RSD. That’s when she took this self-test here. Like all things ADHD it’s all about the degree of impairment.

Here are the questions. Choose Often vs. Not Often for each question.

Q1: Do you ever experience sudden, intense bouts of rage when your feelings are hurt? Choose Often vs. Not Often for each question.

Q2: Do you ever experience sudden, intense bouts of depression when your think you have been rejected or criticized?

Q3: Are you your own harshest critic?

Q4: Do you ever feel anxious in social situations because you assume that no one likes you?

Q5: Do you consider yourself a “people pleaser,” often going above and beyond to get on someone’s good side?

Q6: Do you ever pass up opportunities or avoid starting projects because you’re afraid you’ll fail?

Q7: Have you ever been called “overly sensitive” or a “head case” because of your strong emotional reactions?

Q8: Do you often dedicate more time than is necessary to a project or become perfectionistic to make sure your work has no mistakes (and is above reproach)?

Q9: Do you ever experience your emotions as a physical sensation, as though you’ve been punched in the chest or physically “wounded?”

Q10: Do you ever feel shame about the “lack of control” you have over your emotions?

Q11: Before you were diagnosed with ADHD, were you told you might be depressed? Have bipolar disorder? Have a borderline character disorder?

Q12: Do you ever shy away from close friendships or romantic relationships, because you worry that if people “know the real you,” they won’t like you?

Q13: Do you assume the worst in commonplace interactions — worrying you will be fired every time your boss calls you in to her office, for instance?

Q14: Do you regularly think that you cannot go on feeling this way?

Q15: Do you ever avoid meeting new people or trying new things because your fear of rejection and criticism is so strong?

Resources:

https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria#2

Q10: Do you ever feel shame about the “lack of control” you have over your emotions

Q11: Before you were diagnosed with ADHD, were you told you might be depressed? Have bipolar disorder? Have a borderline character disorder?

Q12: Do you ever shy away from close friendships or romantic relationships, because you worry that if people “know the real you,” they won’t like you?

Q13: Do you assume the worst in commonplace interactions — worrying you will be fired every time your boss calls you in to her office, for instance?

Q14: Do you regularly think that you cannot go on feeling this way?

Q15: Do you ever avoid meeting new people or trying new things because your fear of rejection and criticism is so strong?

Resources:

https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria#2

https://chadd.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/ATTN_10_16_EmotionalRegulation.pdf

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria Symptom Test

https://chadd.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/ATTN_10_16_EmotionalRegulation.pdf

https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-adhd-symptom-test/

• Contact Tracy:

[email protected]